Here's the deal, in order to improve confidence you must take steps to break your fears. Building self confidence is never easy but it can be easy for you. For most of us our personal confidence in many areas is damaged by something or series of things that has happened in our life.
For example I recently had a great real estate deal go very bad, and in the back of my mind I have been noticing my hesitancy and extra cautiousness to look at other deals. I also find myself doubting my knowledge of real estate. Before that I had personal confidence in my ability to pick out good deals. Some of you might have been made fun of, picked on, rejected and or treated cruely in school by other kids, teachers relatives ect. This will surely damage your personal confidence if you are not careful with the thoughts that go through your head. Things like this cause people massive fear of public speaking. People would rather fight a lion than speak in front of ten people. For others it may have been rejection by the opposite sex. All these programming factors happen in adulthood as well. Ok great Max, we get the idea of all the bad that goes through peoples heads, now how do we improve confidence?
When building Self Confidence you must face your fears head on to break them. If you are afraid of heights go skydiving, if you talk like a little mouse when you have to give a presentation at school or work take a class on public speaking and join toast masters. After that get a side job or volunteer for something where you will have to speak to people. If you are nervous about talking to the opposite sex do five minute dating and make it a point to start small talk with everyone you come in to contact with every day. Doing exactly what you are afraid of will surely improve confidence. You are not alone, everyone has room for building self confidence in some area of their life, I sure do! The question is are you going to do something about those areas in your life or let another five years pass by and remain the same with the same resutls. If you truly want positive change in every area of your life and are not afraid to now do what it takes to get there check out my DVD called have confidence on www.themaxgarcia.com. E mail me and let me know how it improves your life.
Showing posts with label personal confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal confidence. Show all posts
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Confidence at work by Max Garcia
Do you have trouble with personal confidence at work? Most people do suffer from low self esteem but do little to improve confidence for themselves. How often at your new job, seminar, or family reunion do you run out of things to talk about. I will give you some ways for building self confidence starting today. As with most things I teach, preparation is key for building self confidence. As I am driving to work, the seminar, or the dinner if I am by myself I am talking to myself the whole way. Most people talk to themselves inside their head but it is usually negative talk. This does not improve confidence, in fact it kills personal confidence and self esteem. Trust me on this now... You need to be saying things out loud to yourself while driving to your event or while getting ready. You can say positive things in your head but it will not improve confidence as much as speaking out loud. You must say things like "people love me, people want to give me money, people want to do things for me, I always have great conversation with the right people"! This will sub consciously give a major boost to your personal confidence. Remember, building self confidence is totally mental, your brain does not have a choice to respond to your words.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Speaking, the Number One Fear
Most inspirational speakers will tell you that speaking is the number one fear among people. People would rather face snakes, or earth quakes than become a business speaker. If you think all the way back to your childhood you will realize the reason most people avoid business speaking is due their past experiences. We were embarrassed, made fun of or teased by teachers, students, family, friends and the list goes on. Even if it only happened a couple times it can have a lasting effect if you don’t learn how to deal with it. Some inspirational speakers call this previous programming. What they mean is that the experience programs the mind to have negative association for future experiences. This is why we usually hear people say that they hate being in front of people. These same people avoid any business speaking at all. Do you avoid saying what is on your mind during a meeting because you fear you might sound foolish? Do you dread having to give a presentation as a business speaker yourself? If so think back to what happened in the past that may have caused this feeling.
The same happens when someone has a bad relationship experience, the person involved fears the possibility of repeating the process so they avoid a potentially great relationship. This also happens in business relationships where the boss is lied to and taken advantage of by an employee they trusted. The next time the boss gets a new employee he or she will have their mental guard up right from the start, making it harder to establish trust. The same goes for the business speaker who messes up one presentation and so he or she avoids doing future presentations. If you have fears about business speaking I have a new program on confidence you want to look at http://themaxgarcia.com/Products.html or enroll in one of my personal coaching programs. The good news is that you can be the best business speaker your company has ever seen regardless of how you feel now. You just need a coach that can teach you how to change the way you speak to yourself. I have learned some great tactics from inspirational speakers over the years that everyone should know. I am dying to share.
The same happens when someone has a bad relationship experience, the person involved fears the possibility of repeating the process so they avoid a potentially great relationship. This also happens in business relationships where the boss is lied to and taken advantage of by an employee they trusted. The next time the boss gets a new employee he or she will have their mental guard up right from the start, making it harder to establish trust. The same goes for the business speaker who messes up one presentation and so he or she avoids doing future presentations. If you have fears about business speaking I have a new program on confidence you want to look at http://themaxgarcia.com/Products.html or enroll in one of my personal coaching programs. The good news is that you can be the best business speaker your company has ever seen regardless of how you feel now. You just need a coach that can teach you how to change the way you speak to yourself. I have learned some great tactics from inspirational speakers over the years that everyone should know. I am dying to share.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Measuring morale in Business by Max Garcia
What do you and your business speakers do to determine the needs, wants, and satisfaction of customers? Of the employees? What would you do in sales motivation to improve gathering, distributing, or applying such information? What words would you choose as a sales speaker? Is Sales motivation even needed?
In most organizations, there is no way to determine the satisfaction of its members. If there is a good sales speaker in place, he or she can take the time to put in any plan or policy they choose. For me personally, I have meetings with my Non Commissioned Officers (working, lower level managers) about once a month. During this meeting I send away all the Staff Non-Commissioned officers (supervisors), and talk with the Non Commissioned Officers about different issues. Kind of like an upper manager who does sales motivation talking directly with the shift managers to find out the real scoop. For me the Non-Commissioned Officers are usually on their third to fifth year in the Marines with one or two overseas deployments worth of experience. They are the first person in the chain of command to the lowest level of workers. They are responsible for a twenty-six ton vehicle, all the Marines it carries, maintenance, and weapons employment. Needless to say their opinion is not taken lightly. One of the first things I do and what you can do as business speakers is point out that what is said in the meeting, stays in the meeting. Business speakers could do the same with the people they want to motivate. In fact, any sales speaker can do the same.
This is their opportunity to inform you as the CEO about any issues that need to be addressed. Most people will not ask business speakers their question in front of everyone. For me it is also a time to ask questions about certain workers that I am concerned about. If I noticed one Marine is not himself lately then I can ask someone who is closely working with that person. During these meetings things are not as formal to enable smooth communication. No matter what is said I do not react with anger or frustration because I am in fact asking for the information. This form of communication has been very effective for my unit as a whole.
In most organizations, there is no way to determine the satisfaction of its members. If there is a good sales speaker in place, he or she can take the time to put in any plan or policy they choose. For me personally, I have meetings with my Non Commissioned Officers (working, lower level managers) about once a month. During this meeting I send away all the Staff Non-Commissioned officers (supervisors), and talk with the Non Commissioned Officers about different issues. Kind of like an upper manager who does sales motivation talking directly with the shift managers to find out the real scoop. For me the Non-Commissioned Officers are usually on their third to fifth year in the Marines with one or two overseas deployments worth of experience. They are the first person in the chain of command to the lowest level of workers. They are responsible for a twenty-six ton vehicle, all the Marines it carries, maintenance, and weapons employment. Needless to say their opinion is not taken lightly. One of the first things I do and what you can do as business speakers is point out that what is said in the meeting, stays in the meeting. Business speakers could do the same with the people they want to motivate. In fact, any sales speaker can do the same.
This is their opportunity to inform you as the CEO about any issues that need to be addressed. Most people will not ask business speakers their question in front of everyone. For me it is also a time to ask questions about certain workers that I am concerned about. If I noticed one Marine is not himself lately then I can ask someone who is closely working with that person. During these meetings things are not as formal to enable smooth communication. No matter what is said I do not react with anger or frustration because I am in fact asking for the information. This form of communication has been very effective for my unit as a whole.
Friday, September 11, 2009
3 Rules for Confidence by Max Garcia
It doesn’t matter whom you work for or what your occupation is. I tell all my new people when they check in that I have three rules for building self confidence. These personal confidence rules I made up when I was a Drill Instructor at Parris Island, South Carolina. I told every platoon I graduated and now I tell every new member of my current companies. The three rules for building self confidence are: personal appearance, learn your role as quick as possible, and last but not least, always, no matter what happens, always be respectful. These rules of personal confidence I live by and train others to live by. I guess you could call these my tools to improve confidence because so many people feel inferior when starting a new job. I call them the three rules for success. The fact that I brief these rules to every new join has saved me time, frustration, paper work, and has made my Marines stronger. I believe this is fact only because of my three rules for success. To apply these when building self confidence in the corporate world some complimentary thinking will be needed. For now we will discuss the first rule.
The First Rule:
Improve confidence through a first impression. A first impression is a lasting impression. From the second you walk up to hand in your resume, to your first day on the job up until the day you leave, everybody is judging your personal appearance. Despite that it’s against what we are taught in school, not to judge a book by its cover, the fact remains people are judgmental creatures. You can have stellar performer, but if their personal appearance is lacking no one is going to promote them to a position where they have to deal with upper management. That’s just fact. If you are in a position of leadership then this rule should be gospel to you when it comes to personal confidence.
Everyone regardless of position or occupation is critical of those senior to them. The last thing you want is to be known by your subordinates as the sloppy or eccentric boss. It doesn’t matter how great you “know your job”, you lose prestige if you don’t look sharp in the eyes of those junior to you. Not only that, when you look good you feel good. When you feel good you will perform as such resulting in solid personal confidence. We will talk more next time about building self confidence using my other two rules. I want you to first improve confidence for your self by first assessing your own appearance. If you are in a leadership position, ask yourself if your people would work better if they simply dressed sharper?
The First Rule:
Improve confidence through a first impression. A first impression is a lasting impression. From the second you walk up to hand in your resume, to your first day on the job up until the day you leave, everybody is judging your personal appearance. Despite that it’s against what we are taught in school, not to judge a book by its cover, the fact remains people are judgmental creatures. You can have stellar performer, but if their personal appearance is lacking no one is going to promote them to a position where they have to deal with upper management. That’s just fact. If you are in a position of leadership then this rule should be gospel to you when it comes to personal confidence.
Everyone regardless of position or occupation is critical of those senior to them. The last thing you want is to be known by your subordinates as the sloppy or eccentric boss. It doesn’t matter how great you “know your job”, you lose prestige if you don’t look sharp in the eyes of those junior to you. Not only that, when you look good you feel good. When you feel good you will perform as such resulting in solid personal confidence. We will talk more next time about building self confidence using my other two rules. I want you to first improve confidence for your self by first assessing your own appearance. If you are in a leadership position, ask yourself if your people would work better if they simply dressed sharper?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Choosing the Right Leadership Characteristics by Max Garcia
When developing your leadership characteristics you want to pay close attention to the various styles of leadership. Your style of leadership can and will greatly affect the results of your employees. Those affects, negative or positive will be a direct reflection of your leadership characteristics. Most people are familiar with two forms of leadership, persuasive or athoritative. The truth is that there are as many styles of leadership as there are characteristics of leadership. Every leadership challenge is going to call for different styles. Some subordinates are very easy to work with, show up on time, take initatiave, work hard and never question orders. These employees allow you to display relaxed leadership characteristics and courtesy. Other subordinates wait for you to give them an inch so they can take a mile. These co workers tend to be more disrespectful, question directions and require more supervision. The characteristics of these employees may call for you to use more force and athority. The key, is finding balance between the two. My father Dan Garcia, who retired from the Marine Corps, called this firm but fair leadership.
Many leaders, particularly those in the military feel that you always have to be consistent and treat every one exactly the same. This is true to some degree however, if you treat your best guy like your worst guy he won't be your best guy for long. If you have someone who knows exactly what your intent is and follows it to the letter wheather you are there or not enjoy it. Don't micro manage that person like they are incompetent and they will most likely continue on that path. I'm not saying don't supervise, in fact you should always inspect what you expect. Just keep in mind those that micro managed you in the past when you were doing excellent. Did you resent them to a certain degree? Did you feel as if they didn't trust you despite your consistent results. I know I totally resent any micro management, especially when in a leadership role. Why give someone a promotion and then stand over their shoulder? You might as well lead for them.
The moral of the story is to deal with each leadership challenge according to the situation, not just a standard style of leadershp characteristics you read in a book. Some bosses have fun simply being mean to their employees. They run the show out of fear and laugh about it. Sure they will work because you say so or else! They may even move a little faster when you are around. But, let there be no doubt if your subordinates hate you it will adversely affect you in the long term. They will only do the bare minimum, they will not take initatiave and they will probably stab you in the back the first opportunity they get. You will have no loyalty what so ever. This style will not improve confidence as a leader, in fact it displays a lack of personal confidence in one self. I once was about to make a huge mistake, one that could have possibly gotten me fired. Fortunately for me I had plenty of loyalty in my unit. One of the subordinates quickly pointed out the mistake for me, saving my butt. I said thank you and let him know how much I appreciated him having my back. This warning came from a subordinate that I had to firmly counsel on more than one occasion. That is where the firm but fair part comes in. If someone needs corrected, correct them. If the situation calls for a little harshness, make it harsh. However, if someone deserves a pat on the back you should be just as fast to do that with much more enthusiasm. Leadership characteristics like these go a long way and will assist in building personal confidence while in a postition of authority. Stay tuned for more articles like these or visit my website at http://www.themaxgarcia.com/
Many leaders, particularly those in the military feel that you always have to be consistent and treat every one exactly the same. This is true to some degree however, if you treat your best guy like your worst guy he won't be your best guy for long. If you have someone who knows exactly what your intent is and follows it to the letter wheather you are there or not enjoy it. Don't micro manage that person like they are incompetent and they will most likely continue on that path. I'm not saying don't supervise, in fact you should always inspect what you expect. Just keep in mind those that micro managed you in the past when you were doing excellent. Did you resent them to a certain degree? Did you feel as if they didn't trust you despite your consistent results. I know I totally resent any micro management, especially when in a leadership role. Why give someone a promotion and then stand over their shoulder? You might as well lead for them.
The moral of the story is to deal with each leadership challenge according to the situation, not just a standard style of leadershp characteristics you read in a book. Some bosses have fun simply being mean to their employees. They run the show out of fear and laugh about it. Sure they will work because you say so or else! They may even move a little faster when you are around. But, let there be no doubt if your subordinates hate you it will adversely affect you in the long term. They will only do the bare minimum, they will not take initatiave and they will probably stab you in the back the first opportunity they get. You will have no loyalty what so ever. This style will not improve confidence as a leader, in fact it displays a lack of personal confidence in one self. I once was about to make a huge mistake, one that could have possibly gotten me fired. Fortunately for me I had plenty of loyalty in my unit. One of the subordinates quickly pointed out the mistake for me, saving my butt. I said thank you and let him know how much I appreciated him having my back. This warning came from a subordinate that I had to firmly counsel on more than one occasion. That is where the firm but fair part comes in. If someone needs corrected, correct them. If the situation calls for a little harshness, make it harsh. However, if someone deserves a pat on the back you should be just as fast to do that with much more enthusiasm. Leadership characteristics like these go a long way and will assist in building personal confidence while in a postition of authority. Stay tuned for more articles like these or visit my website at http://www.themaxgarcia.com/
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Leadership Characteristics by Max Garcia
What are the most important leadership characteristics? Leadership is defined in the english dictionary as a person who rules, guides, or inspires others. What qualities stand out most when observing someone who is a successful leader? For this article we will touch heavily on personal confidence, the characteristic that challenges most people. Despite their outward appearance most people question their own abilities and decisions all the time. Even top performers doubt themselves on a daily basis.
Confidence has to be one of the most important leadership characteristics there is. Now I didn't say cocky alpha males, I said confidence! With out confidence who ever you are leading will not follow you for long. If they're required to follow you due to your employment position they may have to do as you say but they surely don't have to respect you. You see, you must first be confident in yourself before you become confident in what ever area you are leading in. If you are comfortable in your own skin, it won't matter if you are the new boss that doesn't fully understand the policies in place yet. You will feel just fine kindly and confidently asking the advice of others instead of trying to fake it. In fact, your subordinates will respect the fact that you are humble enough to ask them. If you are comfortable with your own abilities in general, all the other leadership characteristics will come naturally. If you have challenges with this characteristic there is help.
Thats right, even if your fellow employees, subordinates, bosses, friends and family disrespect you on a daily basis there are some things you can do in your every day activity to help re establish your self. First and most importantly change the inner voice in your head. If you are the type that sees two people talking in the hallway and the little voice in your head tells you that they are talking bad about you change the voice inside your head. Now you have to trust me on this. The next time you catch yourself thinking something like, oh no my employees are laughing and looking at me, I want you to stop your self.
As soon as you stop yourself replace your thoughts with words that empower you instead. My employees love me, I have all the characteristics of a great leader. My family loves and respects me to no end. My friends think I'm cool no matter what I do. I am a confident and powerful individual. By the way, you need to say these statements even if you don't believe what your mouth is saying. If you have watched my DVD on confidence you will understand how this works. For now you just have to trust me. Do this just a few times and you will notice a change in the attitudes of the people around you ultimately helping you to become more confident in what ever area you are leading in. Build on the leadership characteristic of confidence and all other things will fall in to place. When you are looking to improve confidence and building self confidence in others stay tuned for more articles like these or visit my website at www.themaxgarcia.com
Confidence has to be one of the most important leadership characteristics there is. Now I didn't say cocky alpha males, I said confidence! With out confidence who ever you are leading will not follow you for long. If they're required to follow you due to your employment position they may have to do as you say but they surely don't have to respect you. You see, you must first be confident in yourself before you become confident in what ever area you are leading in. If you are comfortable in your own skin, it won't matter if you are the new boss that doesn't fully understand the policies in place yet. You will feel just fine kindly and confidently asking the advice of others instead of trying to fake it. In fact, your subordinates will respect the fact that you are humble enough to ask them. If you are comfortable with your own abilities in general, all the other leadership characteristics will come naturally. If you have challenges with this characteristic there is help.
Thats right, even if your fellow employees, subordinates, bosses, friends and family disrespect you on a daily basis there are some things you can do in your every day activity to help re establish your self. First and most importantly change the inner voice in your head. If you are the type that sees two people talking in the hallway and the little voice in your head tells you that they are talking bad about you change the voice inside your head. Now you have to trust me on this. The next time you catch yourself thinking something like, oh no my employees are laughing and looking at me, I want you to stop your self.
As soon as you stop yourself replace your thoughts with words that empower you instead. My employees love me, I have all the characteristics of a great leader. My family loves and respects me to no end. My friends think I'm cool no matter what I do. I am a confident and powerful individual. By the way, you need to say these statements even if you don't believe what your mouth is saying. If you have watched my DVD on confidence you will understand how this works. For now you just have to trust me. Do this just a few times and you will notice a change in the attitudes of the people around you ultimately helping you to become more confident in what ever area you are leading in. Build on the leadership characteristic of confidence and all other things will fall in to place. When you are looking to improve confidence and building self confidence in others stay tuned for more articles like these or visit my website at www.themaxgarcia.com
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